Wretched news

Monday, April 30th, 2007

Read on for something that’s either hilarious or baffling, depending on which IRC channels you’ve been hanging out in. 5 hit die Lich indeed. And that’s just the left hand.

19 Responses to “Wretched news”

  1. MKR Says:


    My computer already has a derivative of the Debian virus and I don’t see what all the hullabaloo is.

    Of the three viruses I’ve gotten in the last 15 years, this is the only one I’ve benefited from!

    On am ore serious note, what do you think AV vendors would call Ubuntu if they really classified it as a virus? Rocks@W32.Destroyer?

  2. Teg_Navanis Says:

    I find all the misspellings, puns and logical twists painful to read rather than funny. But perhaps that was intentional, the article being a parody.

    And I don’t get the 5 hit die Lich joke… ๐Ÿ™

  3. Paul Walsh Says:

    Are you upset at having so few hit die or at being one of the undead I wonder..?

    I am such a geek for even knowing what that means :/

  4. Alex Bogak Says:

    Hey, Mark, you have to laugh at this :-)….it is funny.

    I just don’t understand why people put so much meaning into other’s opinions, even if those others are as fairly known as Steven J. Vaughan-Nichols.


  5. Simone Brunozzi Says:

    This one, in the article, is very funny:
    “Debain itself is an ancient African word meaning Down with America”

  6. Justyn Says:

    Anyone enjoying this may also like to reminisce with the old, totally hilarious adequacy.org article: Is your son a computer hacker?

    Here it is:

    And here they discuss it on The Screen Savers (YouTube video):

  7. Camus SoNiCo Says:

    “It’s also easy to recognize Debain developers because none of them are Americans. All true Americans run Genuine Windows Vista, and have no need for Debain.”

    Hehehe, this is so funny! Nice post!

  8. Felix PleลŸoianu Says:

    That many people actually think like in that parody is a wretched thing indeed, but it’s definitely not news ๐Ÿ™ Thankfully, the ignorance level has decreased visibly in the past few years, at least where I live.

  9. Kevin Mark Says:

    if it was written by someone else, it might have been an attempt at humor. But Debian folks dont seem to like anything he says generally. So this is just another pot-shot or something to /dev/null/

  10. oblonski Says:

    i dont get it either, it has a very nasty undertone if you ask me

    anyways, Mark, congrats on the Wizard of OS award in wired magazine at the Rave 2007 awards:

    from wired:
    “To find the 22 innovators, instigators, and inventors to honor with a Rave Award this year, we started by looking for the most intriguing breakthroughs in the world today โ€” then tracked down the individuals who made them happen. Each honoree told a unique story, but they tended to have one thing in common: Before changing the game in technology, business, or culture, they first changed themselves. There’s the actor who became a politician (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and the politician who became an entrepreneur (Arianna Huffington), not to mention an entrepreneur turned philanthropist (Paul Allen) and a philanthropist turned open source warrior (Mark Shuttleworth). The lesson seems obvious: Reinvent yourself, reinvent the world.”

    and just so by the way, the link to stumbleupon was cool, as a johnny-come-lately i am now totally addicted
    i found this cool ascii art page of tux, this is awesome
    go see at 100mb.nl, it is quite big though so scroll up and down to see the whole thing, and left to right if you dont have widescreen monitor

  11. Susan Says:

    hideous hilarious.

    it’s only funny because SOME people might bizarrely & actually think in this way.

    Reminds me of what Dame Thatcher said:

    I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well,
    if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.

    Looks like OS technology is getting like politics then, mate…
    with prejudice & nastiness
    & power monopolies
    disturbed, veiled sarcasm masquerading as parody..
    & all the other juicy human frailties
    which make it so addictive.

    Maybe the person who wrote the parody
    should apply for a job …
    as Perez Hilton’s lackey.
    Really get their daily quota of nastiness out their own deluded mind & into the public domain..

  12. Susan Says:

    p.s. Mark:
    you don’t need to publish this post.
    probably better if you don’t? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I declare upfront: I haven’t liked Americans since I first visited NYC in ’94
    have liked them less&less with subsequent visits over the years..
    especially given how their economic imperialism
    leaves the rest of the world poor & hungry
    while they wail & moan
    about their obese, moronic, inconsequential lives on the Jerry Springer show..

    “not a bad first effort from a bunch of uneducated, non-American, hippie/terrorist programmers….
    …Still, it’s clear that they have a long way to go to catch up with a real software company like Microsoft,
    who spends billions of dollars a year on innovation and security to come up with something like Vista….”

    Maybe we should consult the Tibetan Elders ,
    in our hippie, native, uneducated non-American way…
    about this matter..

    Find out what they think of “Running Scared” (Microsoft’s) torpid share price in the past few years…
    And whether they see “Pretty Sounds Tinkling” (Apple) making a major impact on the non-american world
    outside of gizmo phones & music monopolies ?

    American put this kind of hate-speech out into the world…
    shoving their dominance into he rest of the world’s faces…
    And then they’re aghast when guerilla terrorists
    choose to fly planes into their American buildings…?
    In objection to their gross arrogance & interference & The Grand American Dream inter alia.

    My advice:
    Whip their American OS asses, good & hard.
    IMNSHO Success is the ultimate revenge.

    Anyway – the guy who wrote that spiteful parody must be such a limp bizkit…
    I bet you he is not independently wealthy & hasn’t gone to the space station…
    & can’t mobilise something which might actually make a difference..
    Talk about penile envy.

  13. Susan Says:

    “not a bad first effort from a bunch of uneducated, non-American, hippie/terrorist programmersโ€ฆ.”

    Education doesn’t seem to be a prerequisite for success.
    It’s quite a bourgeois construct, actually.
    Bill Gates dropped out..
    And I think Google’s Larry&Sergey also didn’t finish their education fully, before starting Google..?
    Could probably find more examples, if a point were to be proved…

    As for hippy ?
    Well maybe Google’s Larry&Sergey should disguise the fact they hung out at Burning Man in Nevada at one stage
    (that’s about as “hippy” as you get…) & took some inspiration from the dynamic they saw there..
    And Larry Ellison should hide his somewhat hippy obsession with all things eastern…

    Is that supposed to be a bad thing?
    Who wants to be American nowadays anyway?
    Their economy is moving backwards…& they are revilded & hated
    by many of the other 5.5Billion people living on the planet…
    The rest of the world’s economic stat’s are looking good this year – but they’re not …
    And SURPRISE !
    USA’s eco-lethargy is not going to impact the world economy, like it might have done in the past…
    They’re the modern equivalent of the roman empire in decline…

  14. Susan Says:

    btw to the person who doesn’t understand “5 hit die lich” …
    a gamers term.
    intended as an insult (?)

    a ‘lich’ is a “pet”…
    “5 hit die” is a derogatory comment on the power of the lich..

    it’s a techy insult…
    clearly the parody article was written by a someone
    who’s just a wood nymph or a chameleon ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. perturbed Says:

    A wretched soul bruised with adversity,
    We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
    But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
    As much, or more, would we ourselves complain.

    — “The Comedy of Errors” (2.1.35), William Shakespeare

  16. Jabberwocky Says:

    Dell is putting uBuntu on PC’s. It’s a start.

    They’ve done something similar before… but the timing wasn’t right then.

    Think the expense & issues surrounding other operating systems
    + shifting perceptions around the collaborative nature of the Web
    + Greater prominence of Open Source options
    …are changing a number of paradigms.

    Let’s see how far the barbarian programmers from Not-America can take this ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Inevitably – by challenging the status quo – they’ll press some buttons.
    Such is life.

    I guess there will always be whingers (like the parody guy)
    who make nasty comments,
    when they see a good thing happening
    which challenges their pseudo-power
    & they’re not part of it.
    Poor things ;-(

  17. Mark W. Tomlinson Says:

    I saw this when it posted Saturday morning and spilled my coffee, I was laughing so hard (not to mention scaring the neighbors…).

    And I must say, as an American, I’ve NEVER liked Jerry Springer.

  18. Marcello Semboli Says:

    Sincere congratulation for Dell-Ubuntu partnership.
    You got it!

  19. finferflu Says:

    LOL! Very funny indeed, I was laughing loudly. This one was one of the funnies parts:

    ‘With Vista, all I had to do was get a USB stick (because the network drivers don’t “take”) and walk it over to my other machine and get a beta account on the nVidia site, and sign the NDA and wait for my email response and then find the right driver to download, and then I downloaded it and put it on the USB stick (well, I had to take it back off the USB stick because it wasn’t recognized by Vista, and I had to burn it to a CD, but it’s basically the same thing), and then I just had to run the installer and agree to the License Agreement and then make sure I went into the registry and set the keys that let me install an unsigned driver, and then the video card worked fine. Why can’t Debain WrEtch be that easy? The obvious answer is “Communism.”‘

    Thanks for posting it.